Why Do We Remember Things That Never Happened?

Most of us like to think of memory as a kind of recording system. Something happens, our brain stores it, and later we retrieve the memory much like opening a file.

Psychology suggests it is far more complicated than that.

Memory is not a perfect recording of the past. Every time we remember something, our brain has to reconstruct it. Usually this works remarkably well, but it also means that memories can change, details can disappear and information from elsewhere can sometimes find its way into what we believe we remember.

That is one reason two people can experience the same event and later give very different accounts of what happened.

Memory is reconstructed, not replayed

When you remember a birthday, holiday or conversation, you probably don’t retrieve every detail exactly as it occurred. Instead, your brain rebuilds the event using stored pieces of information.

Some details may be clear. Others are filled in using expectations, general knowledge and information you have encountered since.

Most of the time, we never notice this happening.

Imagine remembering a meal in a familiar restaurant. You might confidently remember where you sat, what the room looked like and who was beside you. But some of those details may come from your general knowledge of the restaurant rather than that particular visit.

The resulting memory still feels completely real.

The power of suggestion

One of the most fascinating findings in memory research is that how we are questioned about an event can shape what we later remember.

Psychologist Elizabeth Loftus became particularly well known for research showing that subtle changes in language could affect people’s memories of events they had witnessed.

If someone is asked about an event using language that suggests something was more dramatic, faster or more violent than it really was, their later recollection can sometimes shift in that direction.

This has obvious implications for eyewitness testimony.

A witness can be sincere, confident and genuinely trying to tell the truth while still being mistaken.

Where did I hear that?

Another problem is something psychologists call a source-monitoring error.

Sometimes we remember a piece of information but forget where it came from.

For example, you might remember hearing a particular person say something, but later realise it was actually someone else. Or perhaps you only imagined the conversation.

The information itself feels familiar, but the source has become confused.

This can happen surprisingly easily when people repeatedly hear stories, look at photographs, discuss events with other people or imagine how something might have happened.

Over time, the line between what was experienced and what was later learned can become less clear.

Can completely false memories form?

Under some circumstances, people can become confident that something happened even when little or no evidence supports it.

This doesn’t mean memory is hopelessly unreliable, and it certainly doesn’t mean we should doubt every memory.

It does show, however, that confidence and accuracy are not the same thing.

A person can feel absolutely certain about a memory and still be wrong about some of its details.

That is one reason psychologists are cautious about assuming a vivid memory must automatically be accurate.

Why does this happen?

It might sound like a flaw, but memory's reconstructive nature is probably part of what makes it useful.

Our brains aren't designed to store every moment of our lives in perfect detail. We need to recognise patterns, combine information, make predictions and use past experiences to understand new situations.

A flexible memory system allows us to do this.

The trade-off is that the same flexibility that makes memory useful can also make it vulnerable to distortion.

Everyday memory mistakes

You don’t need to be involved in a criminal investigation to experience this.

You may have:

• been certain you left something in a particular place and later discovered you hadn’t

• remembered a family story as though you personally witnessed it

• disagreed with a friend about exactly what was said during a conversation

• remembered an event differently after seeing photographs of it

• been convinced something happened one way until somebody produced evidence showing otherwise

These experiences are completely ordinary.

They remind us that memory is not simply about what happened. It is also influenced by what we noticed, what we expected, what happened afterwards and how often we have thought about the event since.

So, can you trust your memory?

Generally, yes — but perhaps not quite as completely as it sometimes feels.

Memory is extraordinarily useful, but it is also selective, reconstructive, and shaped by the information around us.

One of psychology's most interesting lessons is that feeling certain does not necessarily mean being correct.

Memory is only one example of how our minds can occasionally mislead us.

At House of Questions, we explore questions like these through relaxed, interactive psychology sessions with no exams, homework, or prior knowledge required.